Relationships seem to be a huge topic on twitter recently and it seems as though there seems to be a bit of confusion amongst the millennial’s in regards to the run up to a relationship but not quite making the title. Which brings me to the topic of situationships.
But before we get into that I just want to clarify a few things to avoid confusion; first of all, the dictionary defines the word relationship as ‘the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected’. I just felt the need to put it out there because I feel as though people think they can justify watering it down by not giving the ‘connection’ a title lol.
Some of you may be asking, what even is a situationship? so I am gonna break it down for yall because if it’s a healthy situation, it’s not all that bad. It can smell like a relationship, its sorta looks like a relationship, it might even feel like one, but it’s not.
It’s a relationship that hasn’t been defined and that’s ok, there is nothing with that… when both parties are on the same page. It can be fun, sexually satisfying, liberating even. However, the reality is that 9 times out of 10, someone is probably going to catch feelings and its usually the women. Which is understandable because women are known to be loving and nurturing beings.
It is scientifically proven that when you spend time, cuddle or are intimate with someone the bonding hormone oxytocin is released. So are we fighting the inevitable and playing ourselves?
Some people will argue that guys will tell a female that they don’t want a relationship but despite that she will stay in hopes he changes his mind but he doesn’t it becomes a problem. But I feel as though there’s a thin line to cross when things feel as though there’s more to something there’s not and when feelings are involved can be dangerous combination and can lead to a toxic situation.
Whilst others argue that men are scared of commitment and have the tendency to not make their intentions known, whilst reaping the sweet benefits of relationship lifestyle and wifey coochy. God dammn and on top of that have you under a commitment of not going no where.
Apparently it is a completely normal thing for the majority of people, that at least once in your life you will be with someone who is completely wrong for you in every possible way. Unfortunately, many of us don’t realise it at the time or believe that the person will change and try to hold on to them for as long as possible.
It is only you that can make the decision and choice to free yourself instead of going through heartbreak for a lost cause and we all know that heartbreak can feel like DEATH itself and even though a bad relationship doesn’t define you as a person or really even the choices you make, the small chapter in the book can have an astounding effect on future relationships.
Everybody talks about how they left a toxic relationship or situation alone but rarely mention the late nights you spend crying because you miss them or that heart wrenching feeling reminiscing about all the good times that you had. The embarrassment of another failed attempt of something real.
Ending a toxic relationship is hard af when you love the person and it seem as though our generation has somehow glorified it and think its the answer to great sex and a little excitement.but self-care should always come first, period. Protect your heart, from anyone that doesn’t see the value of your love.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but, LEAVE THAT TOXIC RELATIONSHIP!! That pain of death WILL get better, the memories WILL fade, & the love WILL end! Move on because you deserve better. You will find better, someone that will treat you better and love you the way you are supposed to be. There will ALWAYS be someone who WILL treat you better and in order for that person to come into your life… LEAVE THAT TOXIC PERSON!!
Do not bind yourself to toxic relationships because you’re afraid of letting go. Avoid selfish ‘love’ and remember you deserve the real thing, leave that toxic relationship and fall back in love with yourself.
With Love,
Akira Kay
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